Jesseract

BF is reading a book called Call of the Mall, by Paco Underhill, which examines the “geography of shopping.” I haven’t read it yet, but BF was reading parts out loud to me this afternoon. In one part, the author was describing how useful it would be for stores to install benches or comfy chairs outside dressing rooms in order to give bored significant others something better to do than perch.

Somehow this got me thinking about something that’s been in the back of my mind for a while now-why don’t stores make little cards available to women who shop there that will have a list of the various types of clothes (shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, shoes, etc.) and a space for the women to write in their sizes? A separate card for each of the stores the woman frequents would alleviate the problem of being one size at one store and a totally different number at the store next door. When I mentioned this, BF looked at me as if I was a genius, and commented that if he had something like that he would definitely shop for clothes for me, which he would never dream of doing right now.

He’s right, the idea of a guy shopping for clothes for his significant other is so fraught with peril that most guys choose other routes, like our friend who only buys jewelry for his girlfriends. Jewelry, unlike clothes, is easy and doesn’t run the risk of offending or pissing off said girlfriend. Clothes, on the other hand, are rife with potential pitfalls. If he buys a size too small, is he saying she’s fat? If he buys a size too large, is he saying she’s fat? I’ve had friends who expect their boyfriends to automatically know what size pants, shirts, skirts and dresses they wear, despite those numbers being different at almost every single store where the girl shops.

I told this to BF, elaborating that maybe the girls expect the guys to furtively go through their closets, write down the relevant numbers, go to the store, pick something out and buy it, confident in their selection until they get home and find that vanity sizing has made size 6 the new size 0 and their girlfriend is pissed off and offended. BF said that, despite our having lived together for nearly four years, he would never dream of going through my clothes, even for something I would appreciate, like a new sweater or shirt.

BF, being entrepreneurial-minded, immediately started trying to think of ways to market and sell my little cards. We had an interesting back and forth-how would you get the women to change the cards should their sizes change? How about making them seasonal? A little card for summer and winter, since tank tops are sized differently than sweaters? How would you convince women to use them? Most women love presents from their significant others. A present from a store where the woman actually shops, in her size, is a tempting enough prospect to convince women to tell their true size. What would stop the guys from comparing measurements with their buds, as if the women were baseball players and the cards their batting, pitching and fielding stats? Well, if you really think your significant other is that much of a jerk, why are you with him?

Okay, that’s a bit simplistic, I realize. But seriously, is this something you would use? Guys, if you were given such a card, would you use it? Would you find a card like this helpful? My BF already said if he had cards like this there might be more clothing presents in my future, but my BF likes these kinds of analytical cheat sheets.

This is a potential business idea I’m mulling around, but I’m very curious about what you guys think. Go, or no go?